I feel like a tumbleweed,
that's being blown gently,
through one little dust storm,
after another,
in a gentle embrace.

I made another unconcealing and shifting yesterday, but I wont write that now...
Last night in the van, my ears heard every little thing outside, and the dropping of leaves and seeds from the branches above..my mind wanted to race off into worry..how am I to survive? I felt like I was shrivelling..It all was a play of the mind..and there was a lot of momentum in it..like a horse driven cart about to take the master off the road, then out of my imagination bag, came the vision to focus on..

I saw myself holding a staff with a flame alit at the top. It was a towering staff. And all my family and friends were gathered and basking in this glow. And with this,,,I drifted to sleep.

Today I did a new reality collage, after coming through some amazing stuff yesterday that I released. And this collage was so beautiful...there's a male partner in it, and he has a young child, a girl...he rides horses and so do I. We meet when we are embarking to go out into the Strait to see the dolphins...He is my perfect business/love partner..and another picture I clipped out shows us like two horses nuzzling each other.

I couldn't be at the computer, and outside in the park, was all the laughter and play from the many neighborhood children..I went out there with ping pong paddles and ball to join them. My little Luis, a two year old, and his sister, Lila, run to greet me. Their mother greets me with a big smile. Another little 1 1/2 yr. old Croatian boy joins us with his huge, huge eyes...HUGE EYES!
We begin this play of running the ping pong ball back and forth across the table. This goes on for more than an hour,laughter and pure delight.
It's 8:00pm their bedtime, so I disappear the balls, as their parents whisk them away to their beds...

I go off on the bicycle into the forest and as I ride home, I feel a sadness descending. I'm puzzled, and then when I reach Gina'a and get onto Skype, to talk to Dad, I find out that Mom is experiencing more complications.

She hurt her hip a few weeks ago. It was painful for her. Then a week ago she had double bypass surgery. She was starting to recover and then they took her back to critical care, to help her drain the liquid from her lungs. Dad was just leaving the hospital when I called.

I then understood some things...my sadness. I realized I was in grief for Mom's suffering, and that I wasn't there to soothe her.

I let tears flow.
I had picked up a book, just wanting something to read, and this book I found
soothing.. it's called Medicine Woman by Susan Freilicker

one page says this....

reflections of her heart

The good red road of life leads from mother to daughter and to her daughter in turn...and to all the generatins of daughters. It is the way of grandmother and maiden. of mother and child, of woman in all her many phases. It is the path that leads to the Reflections of Her Heart.

I remembered how many times mother mentioned the book, "Sarah" to me, and then I had so many signs to find out about Sarah, that the book fell into my hands. Sarah, the wife of Abraham. Sarah, who gave up the ability to have children by Abraham and regretted it, and lost faith in the divine, resented the other mothers, became hurt and cut herself off from the rest of the wandering tribe. At the age of 50 or so, she finally surrendered all of her anger and resentment, and opened herself up to divine love, and bore a child.

And "Sarah" is what I finished healing yesterday. My mother, who didn't know on the surface, but within her was the knowing...and she passed her inner knowing, unknowingly to me, in the most amazing ways.

I go to sleep tonight in gratitude for mother and invite the angelic realm to embrace her, my father, my family, and me, and the planet in healing light.